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I’ve got thirteen channels of sh*t  on the TV to choose from.

-‘Nobody Home’ by Pink Floyd

The above quote is so archaic at this point in time that you want to tousle its hair and tell it how adorable it is. Have you looked at how many channels you have access to recently? The descriptor is still fairly accurate, though it’s through the eyes of the beholder.

There are just way too many channels that I will never watch, and I’d love to not have to pay for them. Sports would be the first set of channels that go away. There have been two occasions where sports have been on in my house – once for HD testing, and once because a couple of friends came over to watch a World Series game last year because their cable hadn’t been hooked up yet. I’d be glad to be rid of them, on general principle. Don’t even get me started on Spanish channels. I don’t speak Spanish, so I’m paying for channels that I cannot even understand.

So, it’s not wonder that I’ve long been a fan of the idea of paying a la carte  for cable TV.  I would love to see a smaller bill from Charter.

This morning though, I found something that actually moved my irritation from passive to active. I found a chart from last year showing the costs to a cable provider per channel. Click here to see the memo. Seriously, go look at it. I’ll wait.

I know that everyone derives entertainment from different things, but I’m going to say, for me, the idea of paying about $6.45 for the top two sporting channels is outrageous. I didn’t even bother adding up the Spanish Channels, because I’d probably pop a blood vessel. And this is on top of the “Well, you can get HBO by itself, but it’s actually cheaper to bundle every channel we offer" scam. I bet that if I could go out to Charter’s web site and put a checkbox by the channels watched in my house, it would end up with under 10 selected, plus one or two premiums (assuming you give me reasonable prices for them – $5 a channel seems about right.)

There’s also a larger issue here – we’re subsidizing channels that otherwise would have no chance of ever making it. What’s the revenue plan here? Just leech off the subscriber fees forever? Seriously, there’s a Wedding Channel on my lineup. If you can show me how that channel would make it in  a world where cable subscribers aren’t forced to pay for it, I’ll eat their CEO’s business card.

I’m done with iTunes and iPods and iWhatever.

Last night, courtesy of the fine folks at Amazon.com’s shipping department, I received a 16GB microsd card for my Nexus One phone. I’ve been really looking forward to moving the rest of my mobile experience to the Android platform, which has really become an integral part of my life over the past couple of months. I use it for virtually everything now, and I’ve finally discovered what people must mean when they talk about a smart phone. Google has come a long way with Android since I wrote this article.

In addition to becoming my main email/news/web surfing platform, I’ve started using some of the media functions of the phone (which, incidentally, are among the weakest of the Android offerings), migrating them off of the iPod. The first thing I did was load up Google Listen for managing podcasts. Then I started using booksshouldbefree.com to fill up my audio book addiction until Audible get’s their act together and releases an Android client. The only two things remaining? A Bluetooth interface for my car stereo (where I do the majority of my listening), and moving my music over.

I’m currently using a 32GB iPod touch, and prior to that, I was using an 8GB Nano. That’s where it gets tricky. My music library is about 60GB, so I had to find some way to pare it down to the essentials. I am NOT a random music listener, so I finally settled on picking the songs I know I want on my music player, no matter what. I added a comment of kris_ipod to each track, and then made a smart playlist inside of iTunes that sync’d that to the player. Add in audio books, podcasts, and a second smart playlist to add some random filler and that took care of things. As I moved forward into larger iPods, I made larger random lists, and the core list grew as I added music from Amazon’s MP3 store (clean, unencumbered, play-it-anywhere music in high quality, fully tagged MP3 goodness), but I made a habit of making sure that all of my music that I wanted available to me on a mobile player had a comment tag.

Meanwhile, last time I reinstalled iTunes and imported my library off the server, it started an annoying process of “normalizing” my volume – essentially trying to make every track on an album the same volume. It’s a process that takes forever, and no matter how many times I cancel it, it just starts back up when I launch iTunes. At some point, I finally decided to just let it run. Since the setting for “Don’t Do That” didn’t work, I figured I’d just cave in and let it go, just like I did with the equally annoying “Downloading Album Artwork” feature.

To shorten the back-story, let’s say that everything worked fine up to a certain point. I copied the existing card’s content over to the new card, booted up and tested a few key apps to make sure everything looked good. The speed was great, and all of my data was there.

That’s when everything went south.

I still don’t have a good solution in place for syncing my music over to the Nexus, so I decided I’d just do a Windows search against my library for everything with my tag, and copy it. When I did the search, I came up with a number of songs that was about 1200 less than what was on my iPod. After about an hour of trying to pin down the problem, I checked a couple of individual files on the server and realized that while iTunes shows the metadata as being correct and what I anticipate it to be, the actual metadata in the files was overwritten with a volume level code in the comments field, completely overwriting my own comments.

Thanks iTunes. Thanks Apple. Now I have to go back and redo that entire effort so that I can move my music. I am literally talking about hours of work, unless I can pinpoint where you decided to screw up my files and restore them from the backups.

I’d like to point out that my music library is METICULOUSLY maintained. Every single track has album artwork and correct tags. I did that external to iTunes, and I don’t want it dicked with. If you’re going to do that, do it in your own damn data structure, not in the data structure of the physical files. Also worth noting is that fact that all of the music I bought from Amazon has now had the fingerprint comment overwritten.

Why did Apple feel the need to do that? I’m glad you asked.

It’s because Apple firmly believes they know what’s best for you. They want to tell you how you should listen to your music, how you should organize your music, and how you should access your music. They know best, and that’s how you’re going to do it. You won’t move to another platform ever, so why should you care if your files are damaged? Don’t worry your pretty little head about it – we’ve got it handled and we’ll show you what you need to know.

I won’t lie to you, Marge. I love me some Apple hardware. iTunes, on the other hand, is one of the worst-designed pieces of crap on the market. It constantly adds crap that it decides you need (like, you know, a whole new web browser and an auto update mechanism and a new network protocol), whether you want it or not. Don’t worry, we’ll tell you what you need and you’ll be happy.

Apple builds a really beautiful walled garden. Once you’re there though, good luck getting out with your data intact. They cleverly conceal a number of locks on the gate.

Consider this my “Dear Jobs” letter. In a time where we are overwhelmed with choices in mobile media players and the software to manage them, I don’t have to settle for a significant other that never listens to me, tells me “Pipe down sweetie pie, the men are talking. We’ll tell you what to giggle at”, smacks me on the ass and sends me to the kitchen for pie.

Sorry Apple, it’s not you, it’s me.

I have a very long commute. It’s around 38 miles one-way, and depending on the day, the weather, and the time of departure, I’m looking at around an hour in the car. I cope by listening to a lot of audio books and podcasts, and it’s generally a happy time, unless it’s raining or there’s a car fire.

Seriously, that was yesterday morning. It took me two hours to get to work, and ran my collection of podcasts to dangerously low levels for the week. It happens…no big deal. Some days you’re the bug, and all that. Today was a bit of an odd one though, and it’s got me wondering just what in the hell happens in my brain sometimes. Traffic was fine, and I’m listening to the first book in the Sookie Stackhouse series (the series of books that "True Blood" is based off of.)

There are two exits I can get off at, and which one I choose is completely time dependent. If I’m doing good on time, I exit early and go by Starbuck’s. If not, I go a mile further and take the direct route to my office. This morning I was doing great on time, so I decided to get  some coffee.

OK, bear with me, the set-up is necessary…

So, the exit becomes a three-lane exit. The two left lanes are for turning left, and there’s a separate lane for turning right. The lane for turning right leads into a short right turn lane off the exit with about twenty yards of solid white line. There is a yield sign, which seems redundant with the solid white line, for those exiting the interstate. I usually check the oncoming traffic and then turn right (well, whip through is a better way to put it) onto the main road. There’s rarely anyone coming, so my biggest concern is getting across three lanes into the turn lane to the development where Starbuck’s is.

This morning, there happened to be a guy in a minivan coming through, and he was trying to cut across the white line, while I was trying to ignore the yield sign. So, we were BOTH in the wrong, as far as technicalities go. No biggie, right? Horns blow, fingers hit the air, and we go on about our business. That’s how that usually plays out. Not this morning.

This morning, we had ESCALATION!!!!

The guy got in behind me and flipped me off, I raised my arms in the universal "What the fuck?" gesture, and we started yelling at each other. Yeah – two grown men, in our cars, where neither one can hear the other. That’s intelligent AND effective, right? And then it got really interesting. He motioned to the side of the road while still flipping me off and yelling, and then screeched into a parking lot. I slammed on my breaks and tore back through the parking lot only to realize that I couldn’t get to where he was.

Yeah, I seriously went back with the intention of getting to the guy and…what? What was I thinking was going to happen?

Let me say, for the record, that I hate confrontation. I cannot stand it, because generally it solves nothing and more often than not makes matters worse. Let me also say that despite the fact that I’m 6′1 and 245 pounds…I’m also a guy that sits at a desk all day long banging on the keyboard and making funny over coffee and doughnuts. I’m not exactly training for the UFC here, ya know? I take (/have taken/will take again) karate, and I am fairly fast and have good reflexes…but this dude might be someone who gets into bar fights on weekends for fun. So, again, what the hell was going through my tiny little mind right then?

Anyway, it ended up ok. I got into an adjacent parking lot, we yelled at each other (he called me a jerk off, I called him a fucking moron, we quoted road rules to each other), and I drove off to get my coffee.

I’ve got to start keeping a lid on my temper though – that kind of Mickey Mouse shit is going to get me in trouble one day.

(This is a reposting of an article I wrote for a podcast I co-hosted, once upon a time.)

Let me preface this entry by saying that I like to wear jeans and t-shirts as much as the next guy. Generally speaking, my wardrobe consists of more dark than a black hole. And we all know that if you’re going to be spending the day crawling around the raised floor pulling cables, common sense dictates casual clothes that don’t ruin easily.

My organization’s dress code calls for business casual, except on Fridays (when you can bribe your way into wearing jeans). For me, that generally means khakis (I recommend Bill’s Khakis, by the way – comfortable as jeans, and sharp looking as well) and a button-down long sleeved shirt.

Today is different for me, though. Today, I’m wearing a crisp white dress shirt with a tie, and the comments have already started. We’ve all heard them a million times, and in fact have probably razzed co-workers with the same words. Say them with me:

• “What’s up with that? Got an interview today?”
• “Trying to impress someone?”

or, my new favorite:

“I’d ask if you’ve got an interview, but I want to make sure it’s not a funeral first.”

By the way, the first question always amuses me, since if I had an interview, I’d be wearing a suit. Of course, you wouldn’t have seen me in it, since I’d have it in the car waiting to change in the bathroom of a convenient McDonald’s, a process referred to as “Dancing with the Clown”.

No, I don’t have an interview, and I’m only trying to impress one person. Me.

The way you dress is important for many reasons. The obvious ones, like meeting your organization’s dress code, representing your company well in front of visitors or during an off-site meeting, or just looking your best for an important meeting all come to mind. In my experience, however, there’s a much more important function to be served.

You see, I’ve been feeling a little whiny and off my game for a few days, and I need to get back in my zone. For me, the start of that is wearing a tie. What I’m trying to say is that how you dress can be a touchstone for your professionalism. It doesn’t hold true for everyone, but it is something to consider.

It can be argued that I can be just as effective in shorts and flip-flops, and from the perspective of someone who worked exclusively from home for several years, I can tell you that it’s a valid point. On the other hand, there’s just no substitute for putting on the uniform if you want to be a superhero.

When I wear a tie and a dress shirt, I remind myself that I am NOT some scruffy hippy who holds down a day job in IT. I am a professional systems administrator, with all the responsibility implied by that. I slouch a little less. I speak with more clarity and focus. In short, to paraphrase Clint Eastwood from Heartbreak Ridge:

When you dress like a professional, you’ll feel like a professional, and pretty soon, you might start acting like a professional.

Besides, when you’re up at 05:00, a tie is a great way to annoy yourself into staying awake!

So, it appears that the company I work for, which is otherwise a fairly sane and sensible collection of folks, has decided to "go green". Now, don’t get me wrong. I think we should all have some sense of stewardship for the planet, some sense of ecological responsibility.

I must confess though, this news from my company has me scratching my head.

HR drug a box through the corridors today, and dropped off a present to all the full-time employees.  A water bottle.

The idea here is that we will no longer offer bottled water in our vending machines, and we won’t be putting out plastic cups for people to use at our oft-broken, self-purifying water fountains.

Instead, people will now be saving the planet one water bottle at a time.

The kicker is, we’re still going to sell bottled water by the case to our customers. We’re not doing anything about the hundred or so cars that drive in every day. We’re not going to do anything about requiring business casual attire (which means dry cleaning). We still haven’t put in the bike rack. We still don’t do anything to encourage carpooling.

No, we’re going to spend money on water bottles. It’s a token gesture, barely. It’s almost offensive.

Seriously, check this out…

That’s just a small sampling of the parking at ONE of our HQ facility buildings.

If we allowed even 10% of these people (of the 30-50% of our HQ staff who are able and ready to work from home) to work from home 2 days a week, the positive impact to the environment would be something truly worth crowing about, and the benefits to morale would be priceless.

Instead, as so often happens, we embrace the idea of the winds of change without actually embracing the change. We stick with what has always been the norm, because it’s easier, or gives the impression that somehow it makes us more effective and professional (rather than understanding that true professionalism happens no matter what you’re wearing, or where you’re working from).

What a pity.

Update: We started a carpooling initiative, which is a very good start. We even have a few parking spaces marked for carpool only. Given that my cube neighbor still hangs his bike in his cube, I’m guessing we haven’t gotten around to the bike rack.

Ahhh, high school.

Remember the jocks? The kids that got to do and say whatever they wanted, because they were jocks?

Nothing has changed.

On April 23rd, professional football player Ricky Manning was sitting in a Denny’s with a bunch of his friends, when they noticed a guy sitting alone, eating dinner, working on a laptop. Manning and his gang proceeded to start picking on the guy, who eventually asked the management to have them removed.

So what happened next? Exactly what would have happened in high school. They beat the guy senseless, and fled the scene. He was sitting by himself, working on a laptop. They called him a nerd, and beat the crap out of him. Six thugs beat him senseless, because he was a geek.

Manning is currently charged with assault with a deadly weapon (his fists).

Odds are, He’ll get nothing more than a slap on the wrist, AGAIN. Why? Because this is America, and pro athletes are neither expected nor required to be men. We consider them role models for our children, simply because they can run faster, or throw farther. Because of a higher percentage of muscle tissue and better reflexes, we as a society allow them to be whatever kind of cowardly thugs they want to be, and then we reward them with multi-million dollar contracts. We do not hold them accountable for their actions.

Here’s the punch line:

Manning’s response after making bail, and finding out that he got signed?

"I was pretty down this morning because of the situation," Manning said."But when I found out I was a Chicago Bear, it kind of brought a little light to the day. … I can’t let something like this let me have a bad start to my football career in Chicago."

And the Chicago Bears organization?

A spokesman for the Chicago Bears says that the criminal charge will have no bearing on their $21 million, five year contract with Manning. In fact, the Bears scheduled a conference call Monday night to talk about their new player.

Update: Manning was suspended by the NFL for one game as a result of the incident, and eventually plead guilty to the charges in exchange for his second probation deal. He claimed that he “had words” with the man, but that his former teammates were the ones that committed assault. He also claims that the only reason he plead guilty was because he was “in season” and it might disrupt the team if he went to a jury trial. Disgusting.

Apparently, the MPAA has “taken into account” the exact flaw that I described in my earlier post. They specifically asked study respondents how many of the movies they pirated would have been purchased (or viewed in theaters) if they could not have pirated them.

Fear not, though…they’re still a bunch of booger-heads.

According to ArsTechnica, nobody has seen the survey. The press release was merely a collection of talking points, with none of the data revealed.

Ars brings up two good points:

1. You can’t apply the same criteria to domestic and foreign populations. Piracy is a much deeper cultural norm in some societies.
2. They regard copying for personal use, as well as decoding for use on portable video platforms, as piracy. In other words, they consider “Fair Use” to be whatever they think is fair – not what the law says is fair use.

Remember kids – if you own a video iPod or a PSP, and you want to put a DVD that you purchased on it , that’s considered copyright infringement by Big Content*.

Screw you, booger-heads. Nowhere in the law does it say that am I obligated to prop up your failing business model.

Ars Article here

*Actually, it isn’t. It is actually a violation of the DMCA, since you must circumvent the DRM to put the video in another location.

Yesterday, one of the agents of “Big Content” (the MPAA) released the news that they had lost over six billion dollars in 2005, due to piracy worldwide. Yet again, they seem to be failing to take a number of factors into consideration.

Let me say upfront that piracy is a real issue. I do not dispute that. I think Big Content is losing some real money here. But I also believe that they are overstating their case in an effort to make it easy for the politicians they’ve bought to get whatever shenanigan-laden copyright legislation they think up made into law.

I’d like to draw your attention to one paragraph in particular:

“Bootlegging,” which the study defines as buying illegally copied movies, DVDS or Video CDs, accounted for $2.4 billion. “Illegal copying,” making copies for yourself or getting them from friends, made up $1.4 billion. Finally, illegal downloads cost the studios $2.3 billion in lost revenues.

There is a fundamental problem with that line of reasoning, namely that they are assuming that every download/copy/whatever directly translates to a lost sale.

Let’s assume for the sake of argument that the Internet doesn’t exist and there is no easy mechanism for downloading or copying movies. Now, take a pool of one hundred people, chosen at random, and see how many people are going to buy “Cabin Fever” (in my opinion, the worst movie ever made) at $19.95. You might get 2-3 people willing to buy it, for a total gross of $59.85. Come back to reality now, and ask the same group of people who would be willing to make a copy of it. Even if 100% of the group is willing to make a copy of the movie, you’ve only lost $59.85. Big Content, on the other hand, would seem to have you believe that they’ve lost $1995. Big difference.

Truth number one – Just because someone pirates a movie, it does not directly correlate to a lost sale. It’s an opportunity cost, at worst.

More likely, it’s revenue you would never have seen anyway.

Original Link:

Film piracy costs Hollywood $6.1 bln: study – Yahoo! News

Late fees return at some Blockbusters

Yeah, I knew this was going to happen. I hope it bites them on the ass HARD.

I can’t explain to you why I loath Blockbuster. I just do. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that over the years, I’ve averaged about $7 per rental when you tack on the late fees. I’ll grant you that that issue is my fault. It still chaps my ass though.

Another reason I detest BB? I was a charter member of their 3-out unlimited program. Essentially, I paid $24 a month to rent any number of movies I chose to. I could have three out at a time, and never pay a dime in fees. Then they “made a mistake” with my bill, and canceled my service. When I went to straighten it out, they told me that since the service had been canceled, I wouldn’t be able to sign up for it again, as they were only offering the 2-out program now. Only people who had maintained their 3-out would get to continue with it.

Seriously, why does ANYONE go to Blockbuster anymore? You can join Netflix for less, and never have to worry about a late fee.