I have a very long commute. It’s around 38 miles one-way, and depending on the day, the weather, and the time of departure, I’m looking at around an hour in the car. I cope by listening to a lot of audio books and podcasts, and it’s generally a happy time, unless it’s raining or there’s a car fire.
Seriously, that was yesterday morning. It took me two hours to get to work, and ran my collection of podcasts to dangerously low levels for the week. It happens…no big deal. Some days you’re the bug, and all that. Today was a bit of an odd one though, and it’s got me wondering just what in the hell happens in my brain sometimes. Traffic was fine, and I’m listening to the first book in the Sookie Stackhouse series (the series of books that "True Blood" is based off of.)
There are two exits I can get off at, and which one I choose is completely time dependent. If I’m doing good on time, I exit early and go by Starbuck’s. If not, I go a mile further and take the direct route to my office. This morning I was doing great on time, so I decided to get some coffee.
OK, bear with me, the set-up is necessary…
So, the exit becomes a three-lane exit. The two left lanes are for turning left, and there’s a separate lane for turning right. The lane for turning right leads into a short right turn lane off the exit with about twenty yards of solid white line. There is a yield sign, which seems redundant with the solid white line, for those exiting the interstate. I usually check the oncoming traffic and then turn right (well, whip through is a better way to put it) onto the main road. There’s rarely anyone coming, so my biggest concern is getting across three lanes into the turn lane to the development where Starbuck’s is.
This morning, there happened to be a guy in a minivan coming through, and he was trying to cut across the white line, while I was trying to ignore the yield sign. So, we were BOTH in the wrong, as far as technicalities go. No biggie, right? Horns blow, fingers hit the air, and we go on about our business. That’s how that usually plays out. Not this morning.
This morning, we had ESCALATION!!!!
The guy got in behind me and flipped me off, I raised my arms in the universal "What the fuck?" gesture, and we started yelling at each other. Yeah – two grown men, in our cars, where neither one can hear the other. That’s intelligent AND effective, right? And then it got really interesting. He motioned to the side of the road while still flipping me off and yelling, and then screeched into a parking lot. I slammed on my breaks and tore back through the parking lot only to realize that I couldn’t get to where he was.
Yeah, I seriously went back with the intention of getting to the guy and…what? What was I thinking was going to happen?
Let me say, for the record, that I hate confrontation. I cannot stand it, because generally it solves nothing and more often than not makes matters worse. Let me also say that despite the fact that I’m 6′1 and 245 pounds…I’m also a guy that sits at a desk all day long banging on the keyboard and making funny over coffee and doughnuts. I’m not exactly training for the UFC here, ya know? I take (/have taken/will take again) karate, and I am fairly fast and have good reflexes…but this dude might be someone who gets into bar fights on weekends for fun. So, again, what the hell was going through my tiny little mind right then?
Anyway, it ended up ok. I got into an adjacent parking lot, we yelled at each other (he called me a jerk off, I called him a fucking moron, we quoted road rules to each other), and I drove off to get my coffee.
I’ve got to start keeping a lid on my temper though – that kind of Mickey Mouse shit is going to get me in trouble one day.
